Crown of Life

Peace together the figments of hope

Make this faltering heart strong

Bless perseverance

Stand this test

Wait

And receive life

For I love you

And this is your promise

Make this act true devotion

Lead me in peace

Do not let go

“God with us”

You are my hope.

Steady Hand

You are the steady hand

I grip before the fall.

You uphold me and keep me strong.

Your grace overflows the tidal pools of my heart

It rejuvenates and captures your beauty,

The mercy you show.

How you saved this destitute child

Oh, how I fail to leave my life to you.

Worry and angst come so swift

Uncertainty and stress easily overflow.

But, oh you are faithful to provide all my needs

Your love abounds with uplifting joy.

At night I cry out to you in the dark

You faithfully bring me to the light.

Seeing you brings a glow to my heart

But I dare not veil it and make it faint.

Your glory is my amazement, what I yearn to display.

Apart from You, I am naught.

This Novice Heart

My heart waits

To know you

Patience a gift

Is hard to receive

Shine truth in this

I’m unsure

This novice

Waits

Perhaps this will happen

Take it day by day

Comforting confusion

Safe within

Waits

I dare not speak

Certainty is false

Apart from You

Excitement tingles

Get up and move

Numbness brings paranoia

Not wanted

Reliance on You

Focus in

In Your hands I place

Everything

Assumptions fade

Distractions depart

Feeling overtakes my heart

Infinite Continuum

All Knowing
Ever Faithful
Fallen am I

This contrite heart
Seeks your wisdom
Frustration aches to break in
How I rely on you
Your merciful ways

Enchanted by your grace
Perfect Planner
Make it clear
Strain my heart of distractions
Give these rough waters peace
Help me let go
Move on
Abolish selfish ambition
Fill me anew
Abounding job
Make me your vision
Give me trust
So all there is
Is You.

made a decision

So this weekend I mad a devidion . I’ve been waiting on this choice for awhile now. Actually I mean waiting on God about this subject for awhile now. I’m now convinced that I am to leave Bellingham. Even while I type those letters…the words leave and Bellingham resonate in my head. I know whatever I choose is not outside of God’s will and I find so much comfort in that. But honestly, I’m scared. Everything I know is in Bellingham. But God wants to stretch me and Bellingham has stretched me as far as it can. I strive on a challenge, but it has been almost a year since my last serious challenge and I’m a little out of practice. I’m excited, but reserved too. I want to follow God’s calling in my life and I sincerely think this is where He’s calling me to. With only the possibility of a job in sight, I simply have to trust God and give everything to Him. If only that were as easy as it sounds.

shoud i stay or should i go??

Lately I have had a lot of different thoughts bouncing around in my head.  It has been hard to keep track of them all, and I thought it was about time to write so that they may be released.  This internal struggle exists because of my impeding graduation.  This spring I will be done with college. Exciting, yes. Scary, yes. Confusing, yes.  Whenever my mind happens to stumble over the dreaded topic, I am overwhelmed with a combination of good and bad feelings.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not worried about what’s going to happen because God is good and supplies good things for those who love Him. But regardless, I must make a decision to where and what I am going to do.

I know for a fact that I want to work for a ministry. There is no question that the Holy Spirit has been preparing me for that since He came into my heart.  It’s the where part that really gets me.  I am torn between staying where I’ve grown comfortable and loved to where I know only my parents.  I did just the opposite of that when I chose to go to Western, but I had no friends to leave. No commitments to leave. And no pressure about finding employment.  When it comes to comfort, I would much rather be on the uncomfortable side of things because that is how I grow the best. I strive under challenges and flounder when things get to easy. Who would have thought I would be wanting more life challenges?

In some ways I feel if I stay, it’s a dead end.  There is only so much I can do here.  Maybe that’s the ancy side of me urging me towards change and uncertainty or maybe it’s the Holy Sprit pressing me to move on.  Bellingham has become my first love.  I came to know Christ here, I began going to my first church, I have fallen in and out of love, had my heart broken by people and circumstances, and made amazing life long friends.  I know it’s a city, but in essence it’s where I grew up and grew roots.   The question is… How deep are the roots?  Some plants will flourish when they are replanted, others wither and suffer. I could deal with either one of those potential realities.  But of course it is much more complicated than that.

I’m so thankful that if I do leave and head the hour and a half down south, I will be missed.  What a blessing it is to have such faithful and loving friends. And the best part is, that distance does not change a true friend.  If I leave, it doesn’t mean I have to sever all the relationships I have. I get to keep them! That is one major factor that leads me to believe that I should leave my home of four years.  I’ve been discerning the will of God since the fall…and honestly I could still go either way.  The best part is, that whatever I decide is not outside the will of God.  And whatever I do and wherever I go I get to serve Him with everything I have.

Well… that’s the short version of my inner thoughts on the matter.  Bedtime always seems to keep me short winded.  I’ll keep you posted on what I end up doing. For now, I’m going to finish school, honor God, love my youth groupers, and wait in joyful anticipation of what’s to come.

103

All knowing
This fear stirs up love
My mind shakes at who you are
Your words serenade my soul
Give me strength and perspective
Let not discrepancies leave these lips
Cleanse my heart of complaints
For all is to your glory
Your pleasure.
Give me wisdom and tenacity for your work
Bend my knees to wash the feet of others.
Remind me of your lovely features
Construct my will to be yours

How sweet are your benefits:

“Who forgives all your inequities,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life form destruction,

who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies.”

Confidence and Cornerstone

Accepting you
On my own all is naught
Purpose lies in you
You save from destitution
Reborn
Not perfect
But continuing to follow
Unruly heart wanders
Forgiveness covers
Love intensifies
Oh sweet satisfaction
Comforting savior
Elected as your own
A love unexpected
Yet eternally known
Confidence was endowment
In you not myself
You guide me in rough waters
And gently calm me down
Peace emulates
Strength preservers
All through you
Nothing of my own
Praise sings out exuberance
Love inducing worship
On my knees
I fall for you
Harmonious Cornerstone

This Heart’s Centerpiece

This heart’s condition
A maze within
Lost
Lured and astray
Let down
Forsaken I am not

Love so perfect
Sacrificial
You knew me then
Experienced my sin
Perfection winces
Transgressions taken on
Salvation in you alone
The broken vessel is the greatest of all
You’re the perfecter
All glory is yours
Fill in the gaps
Make me whole
A faithful follower
I long to be

Weakness paralyzes this heart
Falsities want to establish
If alone I fight
Failure is inevitable
Infinite God
Strengthen
Be the centerpiece
As I fade to the back

Put together
It’s all a charade
This world crashes upon me
You are my fortress
Oh sweet friend
My loving Savior
Take my life
Break me down
Keep me close
Stir up joy

Worries fade
Your peace invades
Sinful resistance
Incomparable
To your grace and forgiveness