right now i’m thinking of God’s words to Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding.”
I have no understanding, and I’d be arrogant to say that I have the slightest idea of what the future holds, Almighty God knows that alone and has planned every detail. But like Job my heart aches in tribulation. And I feel the need to make sense of something beyond my understanding and control.
My mom has a nerve disease and lately it has been getting worse. Right now she is in the hospital because the pain was unbearable for her, pain that I can not even begin to understand. She’s described it as internal and external burning while being simultaneously poked with a poker that has been heated in hot coals and that does not even begin to cover it. I can not even wrap my mind around what her days must feel like.
It shows me how selfish I am
It shows me just how contradictory this world is, beautiful yet utterly broken
It makes me realize how much I need God
Heavenly Father, You are the Maker of Heaven and Earth. You are Holy Holy Holy. You are my refuge, shield, and stronghold. You are the great I am. Father, You are righteous, just, and full of grace and mercy. Your love is sacrificial and pure. Oh Lord help me to be like you. Lord give my mom comfort and healing in the midst of this horrible pain. Help her Father to have comfort in You, Lord that peace may be a perfect reslut of trust in You. Lord You heal all diseases, Father if it is your will, please heal her, You are more than able. May it be a testament of your power. Father be with my family as we come along side her, give us hearts of compassion. Give us your heart. Jesus You know pain and suffering, you know excruciating pain. Thank you for saving us, thank you for your sacrifice. I ask that you would take away my moms pain, heal her Lord please heal her. as i close my eyes Lord help me to sleep because you are my help in times of need. You are my solace. You are the cornerstone of my life and by your strength i will go on another day to tell of your glory and grace. Use this to make us stronger. Father help my mom and be with my dad. And I will obey you and be a good daughter to them because my love for them is deep. thank you for my parents. when the tears fall still i will praise you in Jesus’ name. amen
